Barb's Blog


Rise in Perfectionism Among Girls & Parents

High achieving. Ambitious. Hard on herself. Does that sound like your daughter…or you? 

The push for perfection is stronger than it’s ever been, from the drive to be flawless in school, on the field or in relationships with peers and adults to their carefully-curated online lives.

This drive to be perfect is exhausting. What can we parents do to help our girls jump off the hamster wheel? Here are three ideas:

  1. Help her develop a connection to her inner self by cultivating quiet time. Examples: do nothing, daydream, lay in the grass, pray, focus on her breath and let the quiet voice that is the real her, speak to her. With more of this, she won’t have a hole where her core should be.
  2. Discuss the benefits of “good enough”. Expand her perspective on what is “perfect” and talk about how NO ONE can be perfect. Ask her, when is “good enough” good enough?
  3. Connect her to something larger. It could be helping out a neighbor, pet sitting, relying on her faith or volunteering at the Food Bank. Help her find meaningful experiences outside of herself. That leaves less time to ruminate on what is wrong about herself/her life, and grows her self-worth!

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